It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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