I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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