Whod you bang
She's JV to your varsity
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I intend to get homeless drunk
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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