note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
