I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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