I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
