I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
