So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
