U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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