In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
