I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
