Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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