Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
