let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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