Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
