Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
