I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
