it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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