I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
