He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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