Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
