Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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