Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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