i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
