dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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