if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
