And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
