is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
