i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
