yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
