Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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