i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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