Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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