I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
