Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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