Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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