Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
