and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
