I just made out with a guy for $7.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You can't motorboat a personality
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
