I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ketchup is God's man juice
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
