i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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