'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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