I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We have started to decorate penises.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
