you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
