p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
