Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
