An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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