She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize