New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
