I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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